Ten Easy Hiccup Cures

By Eric E.

"Hello." I'm Professor Everkong and (Hic) I have the hiccups (Hic). Here are ten cures for (Hic) them:

1) Drop fifty tons of jello on your head.

2) Eat liver, onion, spinach, asparagus, and sauerkraut.

3) Juggle six raw eggs while balancing a pear on your head.

4) Armwrestle a squid with mustard.

5) Suck in your stomach and eat dead octopus. Yum!

6) Jump off the Empire State Building and at the bottom eat relish.

7) Kiss your five year old brother. Ugh!

8) Murder yourself.

9) Do seventeen bellyflops off a fifty foot diving board.

10) Stand on one foot, while drinking Hi-C with cotton in the left ear, both arms raised and tape on your stomach on Mt. Everest.

There, my hiccups are gone. Bye! (Hic) Oh well.